Life Advice
/Health
Ask Amy: Friend won’t let bestie be ‘the other woman’
Dear Amy: I believe my best friend “Lara” may knowingly be the “other woman” in an affair. Lara has recently started seeing “Jonas,” an ex from her college days.
He contacted her about six months ago and it began as a friendly conversation from afar (they live in different states).
They've seen each other in person twice now – ...Read more
Ask Amy: Corrupt cop’s legacy is kept a secret
Dear Amy: My father in-law is a retired law enforcement officer. Due to scientific advances since his retirement, it turns out that much of his career was a sham. DNA evidence has exonerated many of the people that he put behind bars – to such a large extent that a television network chose to air a story about him and his corrupt practices a ...Read more
Ask Amy: Wife seeks distance from husband’s crimes
Dear Amy: I was so sad and embarrassed to learn that my ex-husband was involved in corporate crimes during the time we were married.
One of two cases and the related court dockets and evidence reveal participation in a complex scheme that resulted in the plaintiff company being awarded a huge settlement.
I quietly left the marriage and took a ...Read more
Ask Amy: For brothers, the path is paved with eggshells
Dear Amy: My brother and I have always had a tenuous relationship.
Our father was abusive, but we are both in mid-life and have led fairly successful and stable lives.
I often have to walk on eggshells when speaking with my brother because he always seems to read what I'm saying or doing as an attack.
Last New Year’s Eve, I was attending a ...Read more
Ask Amy: Mom wonders whether to snitch on teens
Dear Amy: I'm a mom of a young teenager. I've worked hard to foster a sense of trust and accountability.
I've asked my teen to be open with me about the actions of friends and acquaintances, good and bad, and have promised that in return for their honesty, I will not "snitch" unless a friend is in a serious situation (e.g. threats of suicide, ...Read more
Ask Amy: Elder traveler wants to go solo
Dear Amy: I love to travel. It’s almost an obsession, and age (I’m over 80) has not dulled my desire to GO. I had a good job and saved so that I could travel a lot in retirement.
My husband, however, has lost a lot of his wanderlust, and will only go if I beg and plead.
To keep us both happy, I take one or two trips a year by myself. I ...Read more
Ask Amy: New relationship displaces old friendship
Dear Amy: I have a very good friend named “Carl,” who recently began dating a guy named “Samuel.” Samuel is cold to me and seems threatened by my long-standing close friendship with Carl.
I’ve mentioned this to Carl, who’s been dismissive about it.
Recently, Carl had a significant birthday, and when I asked if he was doing anything...Read more
Ask Amy: Guilt for long-ago behavior won’t fade
Dear Amy: Forty years ago, my wife was pregnant for one trimester. I’ve never forgiven myself for how I acted during those few months.
The pregnancy was planned, but instead of being pleased, doubts and fears assailed me. Rather than being supportive and optimistic with my wife, I was bad-tempered and unsympathetic. I felt trapped and ...Read more
Ask Amy: Husband’s love has hit a wrinkle
Dear Amy: My wife of 40 years is a beautiful woman and always has been.
When younger, she turned many heads. To this day (when she wears makeup), she still is quite attractive.
The one caveat is that now that she is in her 70s, she has developed many wrinkles.
She frequently asks me if I think she is looking much older.
I would never upset ...Read more
Ask Amy: Friends get scratch for dog sitting
Dear Amy: Friends ask us regularly to watch their dog, but never offer us any compensation. We are not asking for cash, but a gift card would be nice.
They ask us to do this every year for one week in the summer, and then other periods throughout the year, usually lasting for a few days, and sometimes for several days at Christmastime. We live ...Read more
Ask Amy: Boyfriend’s hoarding messes with relationship
Dear Amy: “Dave” and I have dated for four years.
We love each other and are both committed to our relationship.
Although we have both agreed not to marry, having survived devastating divorces, we have talked at length about consolidating our homes and moving in together.
My trepidation has completely paralyzed me.
Dave is a ...Read more
Ask Amy: A long marriage is now on the ropes
Dear Amy: My wife of 27 years recently told me that she has no interest in intimacy or sex any longer.
We have had a poor record in this regard, especially while raising our four kids (three adults, and one teenage girl).
My wife told me that I could not initiate or suggest having sex with her, and that the only way it would happen would be if...Read more
Ask Amy: Parents on the fence over adultery
Dear Amy: My wonderful daughter and her husband have been together for 15 years. They met in college and have been together since the time of their very first meeting.
We genuinely love her husband, “Danny,” and consider him our son.
They have a one-year-old child and we absolutely adore our grandson.
Danny’s job is challenging and he ...Read more
Ask Amy: Stylist doesn’t want to cut customer
Dear Amy: I work in a busy hair salon. I have many loyal customers and while they’re in the chair, we talk a lot and share personal information. I’ve gotten to know some of these clients very well, as they show me photos of their kids and spouses (and sometimes their pets).
Recently I was on an online site where people anonymously post ...Read more
Ask Amy: Friend is uncomfortable with overshares
Dear Amy: “Sandy” and I are close friends from college. Our friend group has stayed close, despite living in different states.
We have a group text chat, and occasionally get together.
Recently, Sandy has been going through a rough patch after a painful divorce.
She is something of an “influencer” on social media and has been sharing ...Read more
Ask Amy: Parents drop loud hints for them to leave
Dear Amy: I’m a 27-year-old woman. My parents are very strong and religious people who are “never wrong.” They hear but do not listen.
My fiancé and I asked them if we could move in with them for financial relief while I finished school.
We both work from home and have been doing so for over a year, until he recently got fired from his ...Read more
Ask Amy: Parent wonders whether to bail out daughter
Dear Amy: My daughter is 37, and has been married for 15 years. She and her husband have three boys, ages 13, 10, and 3.
She pursued a divorce in the most destructive way possible, by moving a male “friend” (who has three children of his own) into her marital home.
He needed lodging because of his pending divorce. My son-in-law allowed ...Read more
Ask Amy: Like Garbo, she just wants to be alone
Dear Amy: I’m a mid-50’s mother of adult children.
I have healthy relationships with my folks, siblings, children, and my loving partner.
All that said: I crave being alone.
I have never lived alone. I lived with my family, then in dorms, with roommates, with a spouse, then children. I divorced but had kids at home, developed a new loving...Read more
Ask Amy: Long-ago love wants to visit ill friend
Dear Amy: Twenty years ago, “Sadie” and I divorced after 12 years of marriage and two children.
Sadie developed a cocaine habit, which destroyed our finances and threw us into debt. She also had a string of affairs and then divorced me.
After the divorce, while I was in shock, “Deana,” a coworker, asked me out. Deana and I had an ...Read more
Ask Amy: Empty-nester wants to clear out the nest
Dear Amy: My husband and I have two daughters, ages 24 and 26.
One lives in an apartment and works, and the other also lives in an apartment while she finishes graduate school.
My question concerns their stuff.
I expect them to move around for the next few years, and I don't need them to take all of their stuff now, but I want to have a plan ...Read more