Life Advice



Ask Amy: Widower finds new life – right across the street

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: After my spouse of over 40 years died last year. I have moved forward in my life in a positive manner.

I am having a relationship with a married woman (“Brenda”). As a widower, I have found this to be very helpful.

Brenda’s adult son and daughter have supported her in allowing this relationship to continue and grow.

Brenda's husband is clueless to everything going on.

Brenda and I enjoy our time together and we have very long phone calls, and we have a very exciting sexual relationship.

Her house is across the street, and she has her own bedroom separate from her husband. He is distant, withdrawn, and very unsociable.


Brenda doesn't want to leave her house and move in with me because her daughter and granddaughter are also living in the home with her.

At what point should Brenda’s husband be clued into this development, and what approach should we take to "clear the air" at some point?

– Archie

Dear Archie: I appreciate the fact that you believe you are moving onward “in a positive manner” after your loss, but I would ask you to reconsider the meaning of the word “positive,” and at least acknowledge the possible negative consequences your and “Brenda’s” behavior might have on others.


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