ArcaMax

Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank ...Read more

Time capsule: Florida, United States of America, roughly one week in late March/early April. Do not open this scroll for 100 years.

Gas in shot up to $4.30 per gallon due to the United States and Israel's confusing and deeply unpopular war with Iran. Yes, future friends, many people still drive cars powered by fossil fuels. We hope you are ...Read more

I'm not a great packer. I start out with the best intentions and before I know it, I have packed for every possible occasion, including being stranded on an iceberg and meeting the king of England. Since neither of these two things has ever happened, you would think I would have learned to pack more conservatively. But I have not. So when I ...Read more

I have secretly always longed to be a smoker.

This is not an acceptable thing to say out loud, I know. Due to the fact that cigarettes can kill a person all while making their nails yellow and skin sallow and lips wrinkled and breath horrific, I will never actually start smoking. Nor will I ever recommend that anyone else start smoking. ...Read more

Most couples have cute little endearing pet names for each other. Sweetie. Honey. Schmoopy-Boopy-Snuggie-Woogems.

My husband also has an endearing name for me. He calls me "Two Sips." This comes from my tendency to make myself a cup of coffee, take two sips, and then absentmindedly leave the cup somewhere in the house.

"Hey, Two Sips," he ...Read more

Let's go, party people! It's spring break, the kids are out of school, and no one has any disposable income.

Groceries cost approximately three inheritances, and even going out for a Whopper requires sacrificing at least one child's education. The job market, as they say in technical circles, is sucksville. Then there are gas prices, which ...Read more

We've had our fair share of goldfish. Most of them were won at local fairs and carnivals, so I could understand if they may not have been the healthiest fish in the world. However, I've had friends who've had pet goldfish like mine that lasted for a dozen years (the fish, not the friends), so maybe it's not the fish. ... Maybe it's us. Either ...Read more

The name's Spring. Spring Forward.

Some say I'm even more nefarious than my brother, Fall Back, but they are mistaken. Me? I'm an angel. I come in the shadows and simply borrow a measly hour of your z's, a commodity of which you are already deprived due to the unfortunate high-cortisol state of your daily travails.

I like to think I'm a bit ...Read more

"All of our operators are currently busy with other customers," said the recorded voice on the other end of the line. Then she told me my call was very important to them and would be answered in the order it was received. And this order, apparently, put me at the back of a very long line of other callers who were also so important to them that...Read more

When Ayana Lage got pregnant, she prepared for the worst. She'd struggled with mental health and knew depression could be lying in wait.

She didn't expect to feel exhilarated after the birth.

"I'm so happy," recalled Lage, 32. "I'm doing amazing. I'm thriving, and I don't feel like I need to sleep. I literally just feel incredible."

Then ...Read more

One day as my husband and I were walking through my town, I noticed a guy coming toward us walking his dog. I peered ahead and tried to figure out what breed the dog was. He didn't look like any dog I'd ever seen before. As they got closer, I realized he didn't even look like a dog. He actually looked like ...

A goat.

"Hey honey, is that a ...Read more

Tragically, I have started shopping for a new car.

I drive a 2017 Fiat 500X. His name is Frank, and he has an Italian accent. Though he is far from my first car, he is the first car I have ever truly loved. I found him sitting alone in a beam of light on a Fiat lot, bright red with shining rims, languishing like the last dog at the pound ...Read more

"What do you think of our new succulent?" I asked my husband as I presented the small plant resting on our family room coffee table. I had decided to take the leap from plastic plants to live ones and figured this would be one I couldn't kill too easily.

He looked at it and scrunched up his face.

"It's OK ... but can you get something else?"...Read more