ArcaMax

In the time that we've lived in the 'burbs, we've had a veritable parade of icky insecty things cavorting through our home. There were the things with a million legs that crawled up our bathtubs, the infestation of little black ants that marched through our kitchen, the termites that lunched on our wood deck, the Japanese beetles that stopped ...Read more

10.A Tale of Two Cindys
9.Catcher in the Sack
8.The Grapes of Rhonda
7.David Cop-A-Feel
6.Too Short or Too Long? I Don't Know
5.A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Steam Shower
4.Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Slut
3.Atlas Tugged
2.50 Shades of Gravy
1.A Farewell to Pants

entertainment/humor/jokes/s-1181734">Read more

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The most adorable bride of today will be someone's mother-in-law in the future.

Punctual people have nothing better to do.

People who want by the yard, but try by the inch, should be kicked by the foot!...Read more

I'm dyslexic and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I'm tense.

When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, "Now I know why you named your ...Read more

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

A man by the name of Tates designed the very first compass for large-scale production and sale in the United States. It was a very significant achievement, but alas, it proved not to be too reliable and many people who relied on it became hopelessly lost. It did however, cause a saying which is very much in use today to be developed...

...Read more

-- My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

-- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

-- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

-- How can there be self-help "groups"?

-- Is there another word for synonym?

-- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

-- The speed of time is one-second per second.

--...Read more

My husband and I were boarding an airplane with our two small children when he commented that it was too bad we weren't flying first class, where we'd have more room for our infant.

"They probably don't allow babies in first class," I said.

"On the contrary," a nearby flight attendant jokingly confided to us. "ALL our first-class passengers ...Read more

A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.

Susie raised her hand, stood tall and quoted, "Thou shalt not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

When Dan was appointed to the Superior Court it was generally believed that he would be a strict law and order judge, one willing to use the three strikes law to keep repeat offenders off the street. But it didn't work out that way, Judge D. finding any means possible to give a convicted felon the min- imum prison time possible.When the ...Read more

"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.

The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan and put his face in his hands.

He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.

"Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it ...Read more