ArcaMax

“It’s a miracle!” said the doctor. “You’ve awakened from a coma after 10 years. You must have some questions.”

“For sure,” said the patient. “I remember most of President Barack Obama’s time in office, a time of unity, hope and change. Americans must be getting along better than ever by now?”

“It’s best we discuss that later,” said the doctor.

“What about Hillary Clinton?” said the patient. “She won the Democratic nomination and became America’s first female president?”

“Not exactly,” said the doctor. “It might be a good idea to take a tranquilizer before we continue.”

“I don’t want a tranquilizer. I want information!”

“OK,” said the doctor. “But I warned you. Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election to Donald Trump.”

“The ‘You’re fired!’ billionaire became president? But polls showed she would win easily!”

“Pollsters aren’t terribly accurate these days,” said the doctor. “Hillary claimed the election was stolen.”

“Well, how did President Trump do?” said the patient.

“Trump’s opponents accused him of being a Russian asset — based on a fake dossier paid for by Hillary and the Democratic National Committee. Also, the Democratic House impeached him twice.”

“Did that tear the country apart, like Bill Clinton’s impeachment did?” said the patient.

“Worse,” said the doctor. “We’ve been growing hyper-partisan for years. Some argue social media sites such as Facebook cause people to see only information that validates their thinking rather than challenges it.”

“I thought Facebook was about posting funny pictures and sharing laughs with friends,” said the patient.

“Not anymore,” said the doctor. “Social media companies push people into toxic echo chambers to keep them constantly online, so they can charge advertisers a fortune. Then came the global pandemic.”

“The global what?” said the patient.

“COVID-19 hardened hyper-partisan lines further,” said the doctor. “Many Democrats were eager to wear masks, get vaccinated and lock down schools and churches. Many Republicans resisted. Biden administration officials demanded that social media companies censor scientists, doctors and anyone who disagreed with the official government line.”

“Maybe I’ll try just one tranquilizer,” said the patient. “How did the 2020 election work out?”

“Because of the pandemic, states expanded mail-in ballots and early voting, so Election Day stretched into weeks. An elderly Joe Biden, who campaigned from his basement, somehow got a record 81 million votes — 12 million more than Obama — and Trump lost.”

“Let me get this straight,” said the patient. “Half the country thought the election was stolen, while the other half thought it was legitimate?”

“That’s right,” said the doctor. “Biden and the Democrats used the pandemic to pump trillions into the economy — and line the pockets of their buddies — even though Democratic economists like Larry Summers warned it would overheat the economy. Inflation peaked at 9% and rose 21% over Biden’s four years.”

“So if I had $100,000 in the bank when Biden entered office,” said the patient, “it would have the purchasing power of about $80,000 when he left?”

“That’s right,” said the doctor. “In 2024, a frail Biden dropped out after a poor debate performance. Kamala Harris, his vice president, became the first woman of color to run for president. But she lost to Trump.”

“A woman of color ran for president?” said the patient. “That’s great. But when she lost, half the country said the election was rigged while the other half said it was legitimate?”

“That’s right,” said the doctor. “Before that, Democrats had tried to derail Trump by tying him up in court with cases in multiple states. But more than 77 million voters didn’t care. They wanted him to get costs down and incomes up. He had a Republican House and Senate — until last week.”

“Maybe I better have another tranquilizer before you continue?” said the patient.

“You bet,” said the doctor. “Trump, who campaigned as an anti-war president, started a war with Iran because, according to intelligence sources, they were about to get nukes. The conflict caused gas prices to rise. People still smarting from high living costs didn’t like that. In the midterm elections, they punished Republicans the only way they knew how. They voted for Democrats — even open socialists — in numbers so high, a lot of people are scratching their heads.”

“And half the country —” said the patient.

“That’s right,” said the doctor. “Democrats are likely to overplay their hand with endless investigations and impeachments. Nothing will get done the next two years. Our divisions will only get worse. Now, do you have any other questions?”

“Just one,” said the patient. “Any chance you can induce me back into a coma?”

-

Copyright 2026 Tom Purcell, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

See Tom Purcell’s syndicated column, humor books and funny videos featuring his dog, Thurber, at TomPurcell.com. Email him at Tom@TomPurcell.com.

Copyright 2026 Tom Purcell, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com