Time for a vacation from social media?
Tyrades! by Danny Tyree
I now understand my late mother’s quest for stress avoidance.
For years, she and Uncle Doug maintained a daily phone chat. Inevitably, they would broach subjects that got on their last nerve, necessitating a multi-day “time-out.”
Following in Mom’s footsteps, I recently decided to do a weekend detox from X (Twitter). It wound up lasting 10 glorious days.
Tweets are like the old Lay’s potato chip slogan “Betcha can’t eat just one.” Whether you’re absorbing debates passively or salivating over the chance to pounce on faulty logic, you’ll find yourself burrowing deeper and deeper into endless rabbit holes. The addiction can take precious time away from your job, away from your family, away from…hey, can someone fetch a mop and some BVDs?
Editorials warn about social media body-shaming teenage girls, but adults of any age or gender can be body-shamed because of their reaction to tweets. (“You look simply awful lying there with a popped blood vessel after reading the 5,000th unhinged mockery of your most cherished spiritual values.”)
Yeah, it wouldn’t be so bad if tweets were merely fluff; but some of the most prolific contributors on X are certifiably vile, reprehensible, deranged potty-mouths. Gone are the days of the folk wisdom “Fools’ names, like fools’ faces, are often seen in public places.” Now it’s “Fools’ pseudonyms, like fools’ icons and fools’ highly questionable credentials and fools’ heavily edited videos, are often seen in cyberspaces.”
Some of the tweeters are quite adept at half-truths, distortions and “spin.” (“Doc, I think it was a spider that bit my gluteus maximus. Or a tick. Or maybe it was context, because I sure wouldn’t know context if it bit me on…”)
It is infuriating how many clueless blowhards feel obligated to share their twisted sentiments on Elon Musk’s platform. They are not merely divorced from reality. They have drained reality’s bank account, donated reality’s favorite golf clubs to Goodwill and spent a weekend in Vegas with reality’s best friend.
It’s ironic that some of the biggest attention hogs in the world are totally lacking in SELF-awareness. Uncle Harold used to say, “Listen to the damn fool laugh” about prideful people who were too ignorant to know they were ignorant – and indeed, it’s downright embarrassing to see how blindingly stupid some fellow Homo sapiens can become in a mere 15 to 80 years.
If entrepreneurs are successful in substantially increasing the human lifespan, the Rene Descartes observation “I think, therefore I am” will be replaced with “Duuuuuuuuh…”
My travails are doubtless exacerbated by X’s vaunted algorithms. Once upon a time, my X feed was a soothing mixture of inspirational quotes, animal videos and robust political discussions. Abruptly, it shifted toward wall-to-wall vitriol.
What will AI “know” about our wants and needs next? (“I know you’ll enjoy this ‘lost’ video of Yoko Ono in lederhosen, crashing an alpine yodeling contest. Become a premium member, and we can dig up – ha ha, pardon the side-splitting pun – some photos of your childhood pet’s skeletal remains.”)
As I dip my toe back into X, I can hear all the times Mom cautioned me not to be so “uptight” about things.
Ration your social media use. Think positive thoughts. Know when to walk away from an argument. Don’t scuff your feet when you walk. Don’t slouch…
*Sigh* I need a time-out from channeling Mom when I write.
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Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”
Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com
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