My Pet World: From submissive to startled — Helping a dog who feels overwhelmed | My Pet World | Columns

Dear Cathy,

My best friend, Zoey, is a two-year-old English Setter and the sweetest little girl. She’s on the smaller side at 35 pounds, compared to my previous setter at 65 pounds and the typical 55-pound average. She had quite a bit of anxiety when I adopted her, though she’s improved over time. Still, there are two situations I’m struggling with.

First, we walk regularly on our local beach. Zoey enjoys meeting new dogs and has a neighborhood “pack” she’s very comfortable with. When meeting unfamiliar dogs, she usually rolls over in submission. Recently, though, she has started suddenly jumping up and “screaming” at dogs I assume intimidate her.

It’s a startling sound, though she’s all bark and no bite. I try to keep introductions short to avoid this, but it’s not always possible. Am I correct in thinking she’s reacting out of intimidation? If so, how should I handle it? It’s confusing because she seems friendly at first, then suddenly switches to “Get away from me,” which can make things awkward with other owners. She never growls or bites, just escalates quickly.

The second issue is also anxiety-related. Zoey becomes very upset when I take the kitchen trash outside, even though I’m only gone briefly. She whimpers and gets worked up every time. I don’t make a big deal about leaving or returning, but I can’t understand why this routine bothers her so much.

Would giving her a high-value treat before I take out the trash help? What else can I do to ease her anxiety in this situation? She gets plenty of exercise – at least an hour of running and fetch daily, plus evening playtime – and has lots of social interaction with our household of three people and three dogs.

— Christine and Zoey, Gary, Indiana

Dear Christine,

Zoey sounds like a wonderful dog, and a sensitive one who is still learning how to navigate situations that feel overwhelming.

Let’s start with her interactions with other dogs. Your read on the situation is correct. Rolling over is a submissive behavior, but when she gets intimidated by another dog, she may try to create space in the only way she knows how, which is to jump and yelp.

Some dogs grow out of this as they gain confidence, while others need a little help learning how to handle those moments more smoothly. The key is to step in earlier, before she feels the need to escalate. Keep greetings brief, as you’re doing, and watch closely for early signs of discomfort – stiffening, freezing, or lingering too long in that submissive position. When you see those signs, calmly move her away and give her space.

If she does escalate, don’t correct or punish her. Instead, create distance right away. You can position yourself between Zoey and the other dog, gently guiding her behind you so she doesn’t feel she has to handle the situation alone. It’s also fine to step a few feet away and continue a conversation with the other owner, giving Zoey time to settle before deciding whether to continue or move on.

You can also help her build confidence by arranging more controlled interactions with calm, well-mannered dogs. Start at a comfortable distance and allow her to approach at her own pace, pairing those experiences with treats so she begins to associate other dogs with something positive, not pressure.

Regarding the trash bag, Zoey likely connected that routine with something that felt uncertain or distressing. Even though you return quickly, the pattern itself is what triggers her anxiety. Rather than trying to reassure her in the moment, focus on changing the association. Before you take out the trash, give her something positive to focus on – a high-value treat or a Kong with treats inside. Over time, she will learn your routine means something good is about to happen.

You also can desensitize her by breaking the routine into smaller steps – pick up the bag, set it down, and then reward calm behavior, so she learns there’s nothing to worry about. Gradually build from there until the full routine no longer triggers a reaction.

I also suggest using a pheromone collar or a plug-in diffuser in the home. These can help take the edge off anxiety and support her as she learns a new, calmer response.

In both situations, Zoey is responding to uncertainty the best way she knows how. With earlier intervention, positive associations, and desensitization work, she can learn to handle these moments with more confidence. You’re already doing many things right. With consistency and patience, you should continue to see her confidence grow.

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(Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to cathy@petpundit.com. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal.)