My Pet World: Patience helps shy dogs learn to trust new people

Cathy M. Rosenthal, Tribune Content Agency on Mar 25, 2026

Dear Cathy,

We (my mom and I) recently adopted a small mixed seven-year-old (possibly min pin/dachshund). We hit the jackpot with her. She’s sweet, adorable, and has no bad habits. We don’t know her back story.

Her only “fault” is that she does not like anyone visiting us. She growls but never tries to bite. She allows my brother to pet her, but everyone else is too afraid to try. Maybe she wasn’t socialized as a puppy? Any tips to help, or should we just be patient?

— Cathy, Twin Falls, Idaho

Dear Cathy,

It sounds like you really did hit the jackpot with this little dog, and the fact that her only challenge involves visitors suggests she feels very safe with you and your mom. When a dog growls at strangers but does not try to bite, that is usually a sign of fear or uncertainty, not aggression.

Growling is useful communication. She is telling you she is uncomfortable and asking for more distance, and it’s important to respect that signal rather than punish it. When dogs are corrected for growling, they sometimes stop warning and move straight to snapping, which we never want.

You may be right that she was not well socialized as a puppy, or she may have had experiences that made her cautious around unfamiliar people. The good news is that dogs can learn to feel more comfortable over time if introductions happen slowly and in a controlled way. Instead of asking visitors to pet her right away, allow her to observe from a safe distance. Have guests ignore her at first; no reaching, no eye contact, and no leaning over her. Many shy dogs relax more quickly when they are not the center of attention.

You can also help her form positive associations by giving her something she loves when people visit. A special treat, chew, or toy that only appears when guests come over can help her learn that visitors predict good things. Some families also find it helpful to let the dog stay on a leash, behind a baby gate, or in a nearby room at first so she feels secure and does not feel pressured to interact. As her confidence grows, she may choose to come closer on her own.

Patience really is the key here. Trust takes time, especially for a dog whose early history is unknown. The fact that she already accepts your brother shows that she is capable of building relationships, and with calm, positive experiences, she may gradually become more comfortable with others as well.

For now, let her set the pace, protect her from situations that feel overwhelming, and continue giving her the steady, loving home she clearly is lucky to have with you.

Dear Cathy,

Each morning, when I come to my room to read, my cat, Angus, follows me and jumps onto the bed and bats at me with his paw. Mostly it's gentle, but sometimes his claws are out. I've tried giving him affection, but mostly it seems to be that he wants some more food. The mewing he does is the same as when he's wanting breakfast. Is there something else he may want? It's something that he does every day.

— Mandy, Skokie, Illinois

Dear Mandy,

Cats often use their paws to get our attention, and batting or tapping is one way they communicate that they want something, such as food, affection, playtime, or simply your focus. Because the mewing sounds the same as when he asks for breakfast, he may have learned that this behavior gets him results and so now repeats it every day right on schedule.

Cats are creatures of habit, and once a routine forms, they tend to stick with it. Cats are naturally drawn to calm moments, which is why Angus is showing up when you are reading. From Angus’s point of view, your reading time may look like the perfect invitation to come over, check in, and make sure he hasn’t been forgotten.

Before you sit down to read, try feeding him, offering a short play session, or giving him a toy to keep him busy while you settle in. If the claws come out, turn away so he doesn’t get the attention he’s seeking. Even saying “no” can feel like a reward to a cat who just wants a response. Keeping his nails trimmed and avoiding hand play can also help prevent scratches. Most important, stay consistent. When cats learn that a behavior no longer gets the result they expect, they usually move on to something else.

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(Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to cathy@petpundit.com. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal.)