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Q: Our whole extended family has been doting on our sweet 4-year-old daughter since she was born. She loves being the center of attention and "performs" on cue if given the opportunity. But I'm starting to wonder -- how do we avoid overindulging our cute little girl?

Jim: I'd observe that it's little wonder your daughter "performs on cue." She's been receiving positive reinforcement for that behavior for as long as she can remember. So far, it's all fun for everyone. But there's a danger that she'll grow up believing that her value as a person is based on her cuteness and her performance, not on her character.

You'll need to start helping her develop solid character traits while she's still young, impressionable and teachable. Our culture says that "cuteness," physical attractiveness, popularity, power and success are the important things in life. But we intuitively know better. The things that truly make a person of character are what the Bible calls the "Fruit of the Spirit" -- qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I suggest you make a conscious effort to praise your daughter whenever she displays those positive traits. It's important to model these kinds of qualities for her and look for "teachable moments" to talk about the things that truly matter. It would also be a good idea to teach her how to serve others, whether that means caring for a neighbor's pet when they're on vacation or donating some of her toys to a local homeless shelter.

If you'd like to discuss these thoughts at greater length, I invite you to contact our staff counselors for a free consultation. Call 855-771-HELP (4357) or sign up online for a counseling callback at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: After just a couple of years of marriage, I'm already starting to sense that the original "shimmer" of our romance is beginning to fade. Is something wrong with us? Are we "falling out of love"?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Take a breath: You're normal. Most couples find it hard to maintain the emotional excitement of romance once the day-to-day reality of married life sets in. But here's the good news -- you can still have a healthy, vibrant marriage even when routine begins to take over.

It's actually pretty simple. You just need to grab hold of the fundamental "anchor points" of daily existence and turn them into meaningful relational moments. Here are some suggestions:

-- Waking up. Instead of muttering "Good morning," turn to your spouse first thing and whisper something like: "I love you and I'm glad to be waking up together."

-- Leaving the house. When it's time to go, kiss your spouse goodbye -- and kiss like you really mean it!

-- Checking in. Stay in touch when you're apart. A quick call or even a text message can go a long way toward maintaining and strengthening connection.

-- Coming home. When you come back together in the evening, kiss and hug, talk about your respective days and really listen to your spouse. You'll be surprised what a difference it makes.

-- Mealtimes. Sit at the table and make eye contact -- no phones, TV or other screens! Meals are ideal times for reconnecting and celebrating your shared identity as a couple.

-- Bedtime. The end of the day, like the beginning, is a universal "anchor point." It's a time when you can "clean the slate" and express gratitude and appreciation with a goodnight kiss.

Obviously, this isn't rocket science. Neither is it about "doing more" or "doing things right." It's purely a matter of making the most of the moment.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.