Parking Hog Hides Behind Hoa Status

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a large condo complex where all the parking spots have been auctioned off. Guests are expected to park on the street (where there are plenty of spots but issues with break-ins).

My neighbor in the spot to my right has one parking spot, three cars and always has guests over. I can expect a text once a month from her asking or telling me she is in my parking spot. The holidays are the worst.

If I am in my spot or say no, she tells her guests to park in the fire lane behind me. Years ago, I hit a car parked there. I have asked her not to park there.

But she is on the HOA and bends the rules at her convenience. She even screamed in my face when I asked her guest to move his car so I could pull out.

I don't want to alienate my neighbor. But I no longer want to be faced with giving up my parking spot or getting parked in. Is there a polite way to tell her no to any more requests to park in my spot?

GENTLE READER: The part that makes this difficult -- and unfair -- is that this neighbor is on the HOA. Miss Manners suggests that you use it against her:

"Since you're on the board, perhaps you can figure out a way to free up more parking spots. In the meantime, it's just not possible for me to give up mine. I'm sure you understand how frustrating it is when you can't access yours."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper to eat fruit that is mixed into a beverage? Often when we are out, my partner will order a drink that has fruit muddled into the bottom of the glass. He will finish the drink and then use his fingers, a fork or spoon to sift through the ice and scoop out the fruit to eat.

Personally, I find it off-putting, but I know that I am more sensitive to embarrassment than most. Where does Miss Manners lie on the fruity drink issue?

GENTLE READER: As long as it can be done gracefully, Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with consuming the entire contents of one's drink, even the garnishes. But being off-putting to one's partner (especially with the use of fingers) does not sound graceful.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have relatively new next-door neighbors who we see in passing each day. Today we found a lovely gift on our front steps with a card addressed to my husband (correct name) and me (wrong name).

How do I point out the mistake without overly embarrassing these thoughtful neighbors? Shall I write a thank-you note and sign it with our (correct) names or speak to them in a manner that will laugh off the error?

GENTLE READER: The thank-you letter is the easiest route, but if your neighbor persists in the error, you can blame yourself. "It's actually Alison, not Angelina. I suppose my handwriting might be hard to read."

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)