No One Wants To Hear Your Dna Test Results, Frank
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately at social events, I often find myself trapped by people who want to share, in excruciating detail, their genetic test results.
Each person finds their own results deeply compelling, marveling at length over being 3% this and 15% that, with stunning reveals like, "I thought I we were Welsh, but it turns out we're Scottish!" Meanwhile, the next person is on deck, barely half-listening, eagerly getting ready to launch into their own genetic saga.
Monologuing about the minutiae of one's DNA is self-absorption at, quite literally, the cellular level. Is there a polite way to shut this down?
GENTLE READER: Oh, dear. Miss Manners would have thought that we had established the idea that bragging about one's lineage is rude, and now it has started up again.
Well, you could try expanding the scope of the conversation. Try, "What would your ancestors have thought of the state of America today?" Or, "I suppose you must want to travel there now. What are your vacation plans this year?"
Or, "Excuse me, I need to freshen my drink."
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My aunt, with whom I'm very close, frequently tells me in casual conversation how wealthy her daughter (my cousin) and her husband are.
How do I respond/react to that, if at all? I don't want to cause a rift in our relationship.
GENTLE READER: "How nice for them."
If you want to be slightly wicked, you could add, "I suppose, then, that they do a lot of philanthropy. What are their favorite charities?"
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