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Time To De-Escalate This Non-Fight

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin on

I feel that she has now expressed the contempt she actually had for me all along, and wonder how you recommend handling this.

GENTLE READER: Have you tried asking (civilly and kindly) for a ban on discussing politics?

And it doesn't work?

Next method is to refrain from arguing, and instead to encourage your friend to elaborate on her statements and explain her feelings. Questions should be asked in a neutral tone: Where did you hear that? Have you investigated it? Have you always felt this way? Does your family feel the same way?

That might not work, either. In that case, Miss Manners agrees that it is best not handled. Perhaps when you meet again in person, the friendship can resume if the lady is more respectful.

 

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

COPYRIGHT 2021 JUDITH MARTIN

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

COPYRIGHT 2021 JUDITH MARTIN
 

 

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