Life Advice

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Regret and Renewal

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: I could have written the letter from "Regretful," who was sad that she and her husband had left the city and moved into a rural area where she is missing out on so much that had made her life fun. For me, it's been 12 years of misery. I used to see my daughters and grandkid almost every day, and now I'm lucky if it's once a year.

My physical and mental health have deteriorated to the point where, at times, I no longer have any motivation to live.

My husband knows how I feel but chooses to ignore me; he's happy here in the Northwoods where he can hunt and ride around on his four-wheeler. I'm 80 years old, and I feel like it's over for me, but I don't want my life to end in misery. What can I do? -- Also Regretful

Dear Also Regretful: First off, I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone and isolated. Please reach out for help. You are not alone. If you are feeling like you do not want to live, visit the website https://988lifeline.org, which is a great resource.

Please tell your husband and your children how you are feeling. There is no reason that you should be feeling this alone and isolated. There are people who love you. Please reach out. There is help. Seek the help of a professional therapist to work through these feelings, if you can. Call your doctor and book a check-up, and see if there are exercises that you can do to boost your physical and mental health.

Dear Annie: Keep up your good advice.

When I was a young mother at home all day with two babies while my husband was at work, I was very unhappy. I thought of leaving my husband. But one day, when I was reading the newspaper, I came across a letter describing my same situation. The advice was, "Finish your education, then decide what to do."

 

I got a teaching degree and worked for 30 years, loving my profession.

My first husband and I agreed to divorce after 20 years. My second husband and I were married for 30 years until he passed away. My third husband -- we're both 87 -- and I have been married for four years. We are so much in love. -- Kept Growing

Dear Growing: Thank you for your letter. It highlights that you are never too old to find love and or start a new career.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.


 

 

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