Elderly mother is caught in an anxious cycle
To clarify, his version of “sharing” is called “taking.”
He doesn’t want a lover; he doesn’t want a mother; he wants an easy mark, and he seems to have found one in you.
You’ll feel much better about yourself and this relationship if you cut your losses and show him the door.
Dear Amy: “Frustrated in NY" wrote to you about an in-law’s alcoholism.
You really nailed it when you wrote, "Stand down."
That's exactly what I have done for the past 50 years with a sibling who is an abusive alcoholic.
By standing down we have no contact and no chances for arguments, hurt feelings and drama. By standing down, sanity can flourish.
– Less Family Pain in MI
Dear Less: People can also sometimes “stand down” without becoming completely estranged. This involves detaching from the drama surrounding this disease and accepting one’s own powerlessness over the addict.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
