Ask Amy: Successful sister ponders her family obligation
Her children have never asked me for money. The one who does help her out reluctantly is a high earner. The other one, not so much.
I wonder how other families handle these situations.
Any advice?
— Sorry Sister
Dear Sister: Other families handle this the way your family is: by wading through their confusion, guilt and sorrow — and by making choices they then doubt.
In short, most families react to messy situations in messy ways.
You are not obligated to help your sister — or anyone.
But do you donate to causes that help needy strangers? And do the recipients of this help need to prove that they are worthy in order to receive your generosity?
It might inspire you to put your sister in the category of someone who will never earn your help or (possibly) express gratitude for it. Will you help, anyway? It’s totally up to you.
If you do choose to help, you will feel better if you do so from a place of compassion versus obligation.
...continued
