Ask Amy: In-home caregiver may care too much
And hints that you’re lazy? Unless these are openly expressed, I sincerely suggest that you stop caring.
Dear Amy: I am wondering what to say to an elderly relative who becomes so high on their pain medication that their speech is slurring, yet they still want to hold my baby.
It is unclear if they know how intoxicated they are, yet they often admit (after the fact) how they “overdo” their medication in order to handle seeing family – otherwise their pain will prevent them from getting out of the house to see family.
My question is how do we politely say “no” to holding the baby, or do we just have to hover very closely while the baby is held until the baby grows out of the holding stage?
Is there another option?
– No Hurt Feelings
Dear No Hurt: Your elderly relative has already admitted to “overdoing” pain medication in order to manage getting out of the house. This is concerning, and my suggestion is that whatever family member has the closest caretaking relationship with this relative should be informed and encouraged to review the medication and dosage choices with the physician.
In the moment, you can respond: “You seem shaky today and the baby might get squirmy, so I’m going to sit right beside you and hold the baby, myself.”
Dear Amy: “Underappreciated” wrote about his grandfather’s favoritism toward his accomplished and athletic cousins, one of whom was attending an Ivy League school “on scholarship for football.”
Ivy League schools do not offer athletic scholarships.
– Alert Reader
Dear Reader: Many readers noticed this. Even though this error was not central to the issue presented by “Underappreciated,” I thank you all for the correction.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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