Ask Amy: A husband grapples with his wife’s child-free choice

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Feb 19, 2023

I want to find a life partner. I've been chatting with a great guy I met online and we have a date scheduled for later this week. But I'm nervous that we'll meet and he'll just expect more than a date. I'm over that. Like I said, I want an actual relationship.

Can you give me some advice on what to do or say on a first or second date to help move it in that direction without scaring the guy away?

– Starting Over

Dear Starting Over: Mainly, I suggest doing a lot of listening. As you’ve no doubt already experienced, people tend to reveal themselves (and their intent) when you finally meet in person.

It is valid to ask someone outright what they are looking for. If they are fresh out of a relationship, they may be in their own phase of oats-sowing.

You might say that you are looking for a long-term committed relationship. The only phrase I can think of that first or second date prospects might find “scary,” is if you refer to “the tick tock of my fertile womb.”

Otherwise, if guys are scared by your own sincere intentions, then it’s best that you know early. Onward!

Dear Amy: “Exhausted” reported that on Thanksgiving night, she received a lengthy email from a “woke” friend attacking the concept of Thanksgiving, ruining it for her.

Thank you for saying, “If merely learning someone else’s views ruins your holiday, then you should re-examine your holiday.”

– A Fan

Dear Fan: People who are entrenched in their own views often find it exhausting to recognize that others are entrenched in theirs.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)