Ask Amy: Retirees wrangle over the true cost of love
Is love worth $400 a month, or is there a deeper issue here?
I'm curious about what your take is on this.
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: This is not about the cost – or value – of “love.”
This is about control.
You don’t provide any details regarding your finances, although your wording suggests that all of your joint income (presumably from pension earnings and Social Security) goes into a shared account, which you seem to control.
And if you have the final word and control access to these funds, then yes – that would be the very definition of “losing autonomy.”
Why do I think you control these funds? Because your wife has gone to the mat trying to get some money that she alone would have to use as she wishes.
It isn’t at all clear whether you two can afford to grant each of you money of your own to spend as you wish. But if you can afford it then yes, you should each have funds of your own that you can choose to save or spend.
And if you can’t afford for you each to receive $400 a month, then you should negotiate a smaller amount that you can afford.
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