Ask Amy: Country living was great, until brother arrived
– Disgusted Siblings
Dear Disgusted: If this property is jointly owned by your five family members with no specific leadership structure, then you are going to need consensus – as well as the assistance of a lawyer to sort through your options.
You should start by researching your legal, practical and personal options, and call a meeting (virtual or in-person) with the other owners (not including your brother) to discuss this openly and try to form a consensus about what to do about this property, and how to try to handle your brother – who seems to have spiraled into a bad place and is now controlling all of you.
Unfortunately, because your brother is a part-owner of the property, it might prove impossible to evict him. If he doesn’t agree to sell the property, you and your siblings would have to go to court to try to force a sale.
Dear Amy: A friend of mine, "Lynn," passed away two months ago after battling cancer for over two years. She and her husband, "Andy," moved to our city five years ago, and Lynn and I became fast friends after meeting through mutual friends.
I'm struggling to figure out how I can continue to be a supportive friend to Andy. He's an active 70-year-old, and he obviously has a lifetime of much-closer friends, both here and in other cities.
It feels awkward to try to create a closer friendship with him, but I don't want to abandon him. I think of Lynn and him every day.
Our husbands know each other, as we've been guests in each others' homes, and of course my husband spoke with Andy at the memorial service, but the primary friendship was between Lynn and me, so my husband will not be reaching out to Andy.
I don't want to burden Andy with "just checking in/thinking of you" text messages, and I just don't know what is appropriate in this situation and what would be welcomed or appreciated by him.
– Grieving Friend
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