Life Advice



Ask Amy: Missing cat takes its toll on a friendship

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My friend’s cat has been missing for two weeks.

I have been supportive in helping her try to find the cat. I also feel her pain.

I have always had cats, but since losing a cat 30 years ago, I have always kept my cats indoors.

My friend lives in a canyon with lots of wildlife, including coyotes, mountain lions, owls, and other predators. (She had another cat that had to have its leg amputated because it was caught in a rabbit snare.)

Her remaining cat is still allowed outside. These are small 2-year-old cats!

I'm having a hard time with this. I know it's her cat, but I can't stand the thought of another one going missing due to this thoughtless behavior.


I'm feeling very judgmental/angry, and may not want to stay friends with her.

I can't decide if I should sit by and not judge, or should I bail on the friendship?

– Cat Lover and Friend

Dear Cat Lover: There are many credible reports showing that allowing a cat to roam outdoors significantly shortens its lifespan, and that indoor cats live much longer.


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