Ask Amy: Alarming traits mean wife should end marriage
Dear Amy: “Mary,” “Tracy” and I have been dear friends for 15 years.
About three years ago, Mary married “Steve.” Steve is a lovely, generous man – when he is not drinking. When he drinks he becomes very handsy with me, with Tracy, and with any other woman in the area.
He kisses us on the lips, grabs us, hugs us, etc., all in front of Mary and our own partners.
We gently try to divert him or squirm away, but have never forcefully said, “That’s not appropriate."
Recently we all spent a weekend away together, and he was terrible! Mary either chooses not to see what is happening or is truly clueless.
She also seems to be a little insecure in some ways in her marriage.
Tracy and I are worried that if we strongly say "stop" to him, or if we sit down with Mary and tell her how uncomfortable he makes us, then our friendship will be wounded – if not destroyed.
We imagine that she would support her husband and tell us that we are overreacting.
At this point we don't want to spend any future weekends with them.
Do you have any suggestions of ways we could broach this topic without destroying a 15-year friendship?
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