Ask Amy: Final break-up does not require details
– Done Feeling Suspicious
Dear Done: I’d start with this rhetorical question: Why do you owe your boyfriend a detailed and transparent account of why you are breaking up with him (yet again)?
It seems to me that breaking up is one time when you don’t need to explain yourself fully if you don’t want to.
He may believe he is being blindsided, but many people do not actually want a chapter-and-verse recitation of their own faults and failings when their partner is already leaving.
I suggest you convey: “I’m tired of not trusting you. I’m tired of worrying about your health and mine. This relationship is too much work for me. This roller coaster isn’t good for me. I need to make a clean break and be on my own.”
Any breakup puts shared relationships at risk. Your discretion regarding private conversations and your refusal to engage in emotionally charged accusations might be a welcome relief to people in your shared group.
I suspect that any true friends who have witnessed your unstable relationship over the years might find a way to say, “It’s about time!”
Dear Amy: My wife and I are seniors. We recently began a casual friendship with another couple. We’ve shared two restaurant meals with them over the past three months.
They are heavy drinkers and large eaters. We are neither – with the result that their share of the bill is much greater than ours.
They don't offer to cover extra costs – or to pick up the tip.
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