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Ask Amy: New girlfriend fears guy is a chump

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I started seeing "James" three months ago. I am 35 and he is 40. We both have successful careers, great communication, and an appetite for adventure. It has made for an amazing start, but I struggle with some baggage.

James has a four-year-old daughter part time, whom I adore.

James and his ex “Constance” were together for six years – never married. Constance has always been a stay-at-home mom, raising three older children that James considers stepchildren.

Constance left James. He was shattered and confided in me that she must have been miserable to leave the financial security he provided. The thing is – she still has it!

For the past year, Constance and their daughter reside in the house he bought for the family, no strings – or rent – attached.

Their agreement is that she may stay indefinitely. If she decides to move, he would sell the house and she gets half. He also pays her monthly child support ($500 more than is legally required).

 

When I expressed how generous he was, James elaborated that he wants his daughter to live comfortably, and Constance takes good care of the property.

While I admire his heart and support, I can't help but think that James is being overly generous. He and Constance are not on speaking terms. Constance has been cutting ties between him and her other children.

Her eldest child has called her a "gold digger" in the process.

Am I wrong in agreeing that Constance may be abusing James’ generosity?

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