Ask Amy: Ex-husband thinks it’s time to apologize
Dear Amy: My first wife, “Stacey,” and I married young. She loved me. We had three children together.
I was immature and had little concept of what was required for a successful marriage, although my parents had an almost idyllic one.
After 13 years together, I left the marriage.
The divorce I initiated was difficult for us all.
There were several reconciliations and I spent about a year in analysis. Ultimately I left and married my second wife. She and I have been very happily married for over 30 years.
There are children (now grown) from both marriages, and they all get along incredibly well.
Stacey remarried (happily) and after many years in the wilderness we are able to attend family activities and engage in cordial conversation.
I have a desire to apologize to her for all the pain I caused, but I am not sure whether I am just trying to make myself feel better. I wonder if doing this might just cause her further pain or anger.
Our adult children are aware of my feelings and have advised me to let things be.
Based on this brief synopsis, can you give any advice?