Ask Amy: Mother-in-law’s rant requires apology
Dear Amy: In 2019, after a five-year-long process to make up his mind, my son married a young woman who is the only child of an Indian couple whose own marriage was arranged.
Our daughter-in-law has not embraced our family and doesn’t seem interested in interacting with us.
This past Christmas, she mostly kept to herself, doing things on her computer, playing with her dog, or just staying in the guest bedroom while my son hung out with us.
We are a very warm family. Our son and daughter participate, while my daughter-in-law doesn’t help in the kitchen at all, avoids hugs, and goes to her bedroom after dinner without a word.
She has no social graces and her behavior, especially toward me, has always been extremely cold and distant.
I am trying not to take it too personally because she is like this with most people of our generation, including in her own family.
She doesn’t have a very good relationship with her own mother, and they clashed a lot when organizing the wedding.
The day before they were supposed to return home, my cup was full and some steam escaped in the form of harsh words to my son about her, which she overheard.
Since then, I have written a long email to my son to apologize for my ugly words against the woman he loves.
I also intend to apologize to her after I have been reassured that she will accept my apology. I intend to mention that I do not understand her coldness and hostility toward us.
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