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Ask Amy: Mother-in-law’s rant requires apology

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

He is still searching for that perfect someone. He hates his job, but isn’t able to move, and his current finances are a mess.

When he vents, I listen and give advice when asked.

When he asks how I’m doing, my life is pretty positive, and while he says he’s happy for me, based on his non-verbal communication, I get a sense that I’m taking a screwdriver to his gut and am twisting it.

How do I talk to my friend?

Am I allowed to share news only when it’s negative?

I don’t want to add salt to his wound, but that’s what it feels like when I share.

 

– Wondering

Dear Wondering: First of all, I give your friend credit for actually asking about you!

So often when people vent, they forget to show any interest in the person receiving the vent.

You don’t need to hide your own blessings under a bushel, but I do think it is important to read the room.

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