Life Advice



Ask Amy: Refusing the list is refusing a gift

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I also mentioned that I'd like to teach my children that it is not about the gifts, and that we'd be happy receiving anything or nothing.

I found out soon afterwards that my partner again went behind my back — and made lists for me and our child (after they again asked him).

I am at a loss. I feel a lack of trust and disrespect toward me trying to instill certain values in my children.

I am very upset and do not know how to handle this.

Please share your opinion.

– Against Gift Lists


Dear Against: What you don't seem to understand is that many people simply don't know where to start.

So, by refusing to provide any guidance at all, you are making this whole process harder for these family members.

A lot of people really do want to give gifts that children will genuinely enjoy. But is your child into LEGOS or graphic novels? Do they love the science center or want to learn the violin?

Do they have a special wish or a collection the in-laws could add to?


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