Life Advice



Ask Amy: Troubled daughters won’t reveal reasons

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My wife and I keep an immaculate home. It is our sanctuary!

We live in a different state from majority of family. My cousins have made it known that they anticipate staying with us as house guests while visiting our area.

This particular family chooses to live in squalid conditions.

They have four small children whose manners and behavior are also very challenging.

We don’t believe that this family will transform the moment they cross our doorstep.

Others say that we should accept hosting them. The theme seems to be that we should make the sacrifice and put up with painful house guests, because that is just what you do when it is your flesh and blood.


My position is that it's unfair to make us the bad guys for wanting to spare ourselves the trial of hosting these folks in our home.

Envision being trapped in the role of manners cop/maid service for several days! What I see here is a recipe for resentment – definitely ours and probably theirs, too.

What are our options?

How would you respond to family members who imply that we'd be cold-hearted to turn the would-be guests down?


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