Life Advice



Ask Amy: Sisters should lay their problems to rest

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My mother died last year, during the worst of the pandemic.

My sister asked me to come to our hometown to help clean out Mom's house, and to stay for the funeral service.

This would have involved taking time off work, flying, staying in a hotel, and interacting with strangers — all several states away.

My husband has breathing problems, and I didn't want to risk it, so I told her no. I also mentioned that most of Mom's friends are elderly and that having a service would put them at risk.

My sister didn't want to hear that, and accused me of being selfish and lazy, and of leaving all the work to her. She said I was only thinking of the money from the sale of Mom's house. Needless to say, we haven't spoken since.

Fast-forward to this year. My sister is (once again) planning a funeral service.


I could fly up, stay for the service and head home the next day — but that would mean interacting with my sister.

We have never gotten along, and I don't see what this will accomplish.

Should I stay or should I go?

– Forlorn


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