ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I am a recent college grad, home (for now) looking for full-time work. I’m looking to move somewhere new, make new friends, and live my young adult life to its fullest.

While home and job hunting, I have spent the summer reconnecting with an old friend/flame, “Toby.” Toby and I have been talking casually on and off for a little over a year.

When we didn’t see eye to eye in what we were looking for in a romantic partner, we decided to remain friends instead, something I am proud of.

Toby is leaving the U.S. to attend grad school overseas and I am sad to see him go. While there is still some chemistry between us, I also hate to see someone I care about move so far away.

Leading up to his departure, we’ve been getting together for fun, casual activities.

Recently, I was invited over to his house, where we sat and talked all night about our friendship, relationship, and individual goals for the future.

In a moment of silence seemingly out of a movie, we locked eyes, and Toby very calmly said, “I love you.”

I was at a loss for words like I’ve never been before. This was not my goal for the evening, and he says it wasn’t his either; he felt it in the moment and decided he should let me know.

I am flattered, but feeling a lot of things: adored, caught off guard, and somewhat betrayed by our pact at friendship.

Any advice for this sticky situation?

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