Ask Amy: Reconnected romance demands disconnection
Is it too much to ask for him to disconnect out of respect for my feelings and the future of the relationship?
– Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken: You describe your guy’s “intense jealousy” over your previous relationships, and you are also intensely jealous over his. This presents red flags regarding the health of your relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both parties take the others’ comfort into account. Demands don’t need to be issued – or ignored.
It’s possible that because your guy’s ex-wife dumped him, he is determined never to be quite so exclusive – or vulnerable – again.
You two obviously have a different conception of what it means to be “committed” to one another. If this tension is a continuing source of pain and discord for you, you should reconsider your commitment.
Dear Amy: I have known “Stacy” since junior high school; we are now in our early 60s.
Whenever Stacy and I would meet up at a restaurant, I would always volunteer to drive to her city to make it easier for her, because she and her husband share a car (and he needs it to get to work). I have been doing this for 14 years.
I was laid off from my job, and since my car is old, in February 2020, I told Stacy that I was “babying my car to make it last longer.”
In early March 2020, I suggested we meet for breakfast in my town (about 18 miles from her). She responded with “Well, we are babying our car, so….”
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