Ask Amy: Wedding livestock might bring guests together
Do I just let her isolate, or should I welcome her into the joy of this occasion?
I want the focus to be on my daughter and want to be kind and inclusive.
– MOB
Dear MOB: First of all, any wedding that involves decorating the donkey with flowers or wrangling longhorns for a photo op is a wedding I definitely want to go to.
These livestock guests may prove easier to handle than your family members, however. Keep in mind that even the best-laid plans can go awry.
Weddings can be hyper-charged events that will bring out both the best and the worst in people.
I give you much credit for working hard to try to break the cycle of silence and estrangement in your family.
I emphasize that you are “trying” in order to underscore your limited ability to force your sister to change. You can, however, nudge her toward change – and your effort will definitely make you feel better.
So yes, invite the entire family in a group email to choose a task if they would like, but emphasize that they are also welcome to simply attend and enjoy the wedding. Ask them to get back to you.
Your sister may choose to stay silent, or she might choose to be snarky. Ignore either reaction and return your focus to the marrying couple, your other guests, and your lovely livestock.
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