ArcaMax

Dear Amy: Last weekend I ran into a dear old friend and her college-aged son. It's been a while since I've seen the son, and it was great to catch up.

He's never been one to care much about his appearance, but holy cow, it must have been a week or more since he showered.

His body odor was horrible, to the point where it was hard to stand next to him. And this was an outdoor party! As he and I chatted, he mentioned that during his first year of college while staying in the dorms, he went through three roommates, all of whom "inexplicably" moved out and switched rooms after a few weeks.

Amy, if he normally smells even a fraction of how badly he smelled at that party, I can't even imagine how bad a tiny dorm room must have smelled!

While he and I were talking, his mom came up and gave him a hug.

This made me wonder -- could they both have simply gotten used to the smell?

I consider her a good friend. Should I say something to her about her son? If they really don't realize the extent (or existence) of the problem, a polite comment could be a gamechanger for him. Or it could embarrass them and sour my friendship with her. Please help!

– Holding My Breath

Dear Holding: If this is a close friend, you might ask how her son’s health is. Tell her, “It was so great to catch up with him, but I wondered if he is taking good care of himself.” If she invites further conversation, you could go there.

Dear Amy: “Trapped in Treats” struggled to respond when her boyfriend sabotaged her diet by bringing her treats.

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