Ask Amy: This boomer is not OK with how she’s treated
I have been surprised both by the selfishness displayed by the elders, as well as the controlling and rude reactions of the youngers.
Both sides justify their behavior, and neither admits that they should perhaps behave differently.
However, both of your mothers-in-law were unkind. You consider it a badge of honor that you tolerated their mistreatment. Where is the glory in that?
Your female relatives in their 30s feel personal pressure to be all things to all people (their children, parents, partners, supervisors). Their worries and anxieties are often global in nature, reflecting frustration with elders who they believe deny the realities of climate change, racism, or a global pandemic.
So yes – they are fed up, and they’re not going to take it anymore. And yes, they are mistaking rudeness and aggression for assertion.
However, as women who have fought to have their voices heard, sometimes their voices are louder than necessary, or louder than you would like.
And – until the pendulum swings back again — that’s just the way it goes.
My recommendation for you is to try to engage in honest dialogue and continue to behave respectfully because that is who you are.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 10.
Recently he admitted to sleeping with someone else — twice.
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