Life Advice



Ask Amy: Brothers don’t honor brotherly bond

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My brother and I were very close growing up. We maintained a good relationship into our 20s. Lately our relationship has become strained.

For his last two birthdays, I have generously treated him to fun and thoughtful experiences. I do this because I love him, and I enjoy being generous.

For my last two birthdays, he did not even wish me a happy birthday. He did however show up to my birthday dinner and usurp my spot at the table because he "did not want to sit next to the old people" in our family.

I have reached out to him many times. He never responds.

I believe he either does not want a relationship with me, or this is his way of having a relationship with me.

Last weekend I was having supper with our father at dad's apartment, and he intruded in the middle of our meal and conversation without so much as saying hello.


My therapist advised me to call him out for his disrespect (when I catch him in the act), and set boundaries.

I am thinking about telling my brother that I do not want him coming over to visit our dad while I am there.

I do not want to be steamrolled by his condescending, disrespectful, and entitled behavior, but I also do not want to reach a point where I might get physical with him.

He is my brother and I love him, but I do not like him, and do not want to tolerate his disrespect.


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