Ask Amy: A woman warned tops a woman scorned

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Feb 23, 2021

I have many health issues and have not been going places during this pandemic.

– Worried Relative

Dear Worried: People have varied responses to the CDC recommendations during the pandemic, but – social obligations or desires aside – you have an absolute obligation to guard your own health.

The right thing to do is to decline the invitation if you don’t feel comfortable attending. Send your niece and her fiancé a warmly worded note (and a gift, if you want).

It isn’t necessary for you to lay on too many details regarding why you won’t be able to attend, but wish them well and tell them both that you look forward to seeing them in person as soon as you get the “all clear.”

Dear Amy: “Confused Mom” asked you a question about “polyamory.” Apparently, her son and his wife had taken on an extra “partner” in their marriage and wanted to force this relationship onto the rest of the family.

This is adultery, plain and simple, and your acceptance of it is immoral.

– Upset!

Dear Upset!: I don’t view polyamory as adultery, because all parties are consenting to the relationship. “Confused Mom” was seeking a way to understand this, knowing that her relationship with her son hinged on her willingness to accept this unusual relationship triangle.

As parents, I believe we are called upon to find ways to love and accept our children, unless their choices are deliberately harmful.

I don’t believe that polyamory is the gateway to happiness, but that same caution would also apply to many conventional marriages.

I’d love to hear from people who grew up in polyamorous households.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)