Life Advice



Ask Amy: Husband seeks a good reason to leave

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

He states that because it was a preliminary discussion and nothing had been signed, it is a moot point and that I am being unreasonable.

Am I unreasonable?

— Responsible

Dear Responsible: You are not being unreasonable. Your husband’s work status has changed. This is the ideal time for you two to review your finances, including your household income, expenses, savings and retirement accounts. Even if the accounts he was interested in accessing are in your husband’s name alone, his choices now will affect your shared future later.

Obviously, this is an opportunity for you two to discuss what his thinking is. Does he have debt that you don’t know about? Is he hoping to make a large purchase that he hasn’t discussed with you?

A book you two should read together is: “How to Make Your Money Last — Completely Updated for Planning Today: The Indispensable Retirement Guide Paperback,” by financial writer Jane Bryant Quinn (2020, Simon & Schuster). Despite its unwieldy title, the advice is practical and manageable.

Dear Amy: I think all of you have missed a logical and simple response to "Anxious Wife," whose husband is a dangerous driver due to his speeding and tailgating.

I have experienced the same.


I finally asked myself, " Why am I subjecting myself to this anxiety? I know how to drive."

The solution is: don't get in the car with him. She should do the driving.

— Less Anxious Wife in Ohio

Dear Less Anxious: Yes! Any person with that option should definitely take it.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2020 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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