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Ask Amy: Man is too resigned to nights on the couch

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am approaching 70. My wife (71) and I have seen our marriage steadily decline into a relationship more like roommates than spouses.

We met while working together in the media. She eventually was laid off (for business reasons) and took it personally.

I still work in that industry (and have for the last 47 years).

My wife never wants to talk with me about work, because she's still resentful about how she was pushed out years ago.

In fact, we talk very little about anything. We have had zero intimacy for four years, and while she sleeps in the bed, I stay on the couch all night because she refuses to stop watching videos on her phone while I try to sleep, despite repeated requests for that to cease.

I handle the finances since she refuses to even talk about money.

 

She's not working, nor does she want to anymore, but she spends without consideration for our bank balance (not extravagantly, but enough to put the account into the red too often).

I try to show her the figures, but she doesn't want to deal with it.

When I asked her, "What about this (marriage) makes you want to continue it?" she said, "We've put in 20-some years" (it's 35).

She's only looking backward. I focus on forward. Because my wife only has a meager Social Security income, it would put her in a huge financial bind if I left.

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