Ask Amy: Prospective dad should consider being a 'big'
Dear Amy: I'm a man in my 30s. Ever since I was a young-adult, I've wanted to have a family of my own.
I grew up an only child. When I got older, I decided that whether I got married or not I would adopt a child.
The only problem with this plan was that I was young and was still getting my career going.
I'm now in my mid-30s. My ex-girlfriend and I had talked about possibly adopting a child, but unfortunately that relationship broke up.
However, I still want to adopt. The only problem is, I don't know if I should try to adopt now -- or wait.
I have a job, but that job only pays me when I am needed (which is rare). I have my own home and own my own vehicle, etc.
I don't know how to bring this up to my family. I wonder what their reactions will be. I'm sort of afraid to say anything to them about it.
My dad was adopted, and I saw the problems he faced, and I just don't know what to do.
-- Prospective Dad
Dear Prospective: You seem to have put a lot of thought into this, but you don't seem to have done any research about adoption (other than writing to me). Becoming a parent (especially a single parent) is a heavy lift. It is emotionally, physically, and financially taxing. It is also the greatest and most important thing you will ever do.
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