ArcaMax

I hope you will find ways to meet people around an activity -- whether it is a service project, sports, a hiking group, video or board gaming, or a cultural (musical, artistic) activity. Doing something in tandem with others will help you to cope with your shyness, as well as giving you something real to talk about. Good luck!

Dear Amy: I have four cousins that I grew up with. We are still fairly close as adults. Several years ago, my mom blurted out a family secret to me: that my uncle (her brother) had fathered a child, while he was in high school.

I've always felt that my cousins had a right to know that they have a secret half-sibling out there somewhere.

On one level I know it's not my place to tell, but I still feel like someone should tell them.

I've thought about contacting my uncle to persuade him to tell them, himself.

What is best?

-- Secret Keeper

Dear Keeper: I agree that it is not your place to disclose this to your cousins. However, I agree with you that these adults have the right to know that they have a biological sibling out there. What they might choose to do with this knowledge will be up to them.

Given the ubiquity of DNA testing, there is a likelihood that they will be independently contacted at some point by this sibling (if the person is living).

You should talk to your mother. Tell her that this disclosure has become a burden for you -- as it no doubt is for her, given that she chose to blurt it out to you during an unguarded moment.

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