ArcaMax

How do you suggest I approach this?

-- Interrupted Husband

Dear Interrupted: Ideally, you would have offered this correction using "I" statements that reflect your own personal reaction to her behavior, rather than tell her directly what you "want" her to do differently. Telling someone directly how to behave is bound to make them defensive. And when they're busy being defensive, they don't listen to the point you're trying to make, because they are distracted by planning their mental, emotional, or physical escape.

Here's an example of how you might express your frustration: "Shelley, I don't mean to silence you. That's a terrible feeling. But I get very frustrated when I'm engaged in listening to someone and then that person is interrupted. Then that person is being silenced, and I feel this throws conversations off track. I hope you can understand my reaction. I'm trying hard to enjoy what everyone has to say."

Dear Amy: I have recently gone through a separation that I did not desire. I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, and have ignored it and dealt with it on my own terms.

I found the person that I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, but things ended up becoming very rough with my downfalls. I went through a hard stretch of episodes, in which she was very caring, understanding and helpful.

I ultimately sought out the help I needed, and regained the confidence and desire to make the positive change.

Shortly after getting help, I kept having episodes, and she ended up being overwhelmed and wanted to separate.

A month later, I have gotten to a point that I am more stable, but she doesn't want to even talk to me.

I don't know how I can keep her in my life (romantically or as friends), and it breaks my heart. I think about her every hour of every day.

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