Dinner with the interrupters is no picnic
She won't answer when I call, or respond when I text. Yet when we see each other it is like nothing ever happened.
What can I do to make this relationship possible?
-- Searching for Sunshine
Dear Searching: The answer to your relationship issue might seem counterintuitive, because it is for you to continue with your treatment and to basically concentrate on and commit to yourself and to your mental health and stability. You are a month in (good for you!), but if you alter your focus away from ruminating on this relationship and on to you, personally, the changes you make will help you to accept and cope with the reality of your separation. Your coping skills will make you less anxious and less emotionally dependent.
Every time you contact her and don't get a response, you basically risk triggering a little crash. You softly backing away may prompt her to relax.
I hope you are receiving ongoing talk therapy. Therapeutic support through your treatment will help you to adjust to your new reality.
Dear Amy: A reader recently chastised you regarding an issue with an aggressive dog. The reader notified you that putting a yellow scarf on an aggressive dog's collar indicates that the dog is aggressive.
Um, not necessarily. The only surefire and appropriate way to approach ANY dog is to ask the dog's human if the dog is safe.
-- Dog Lover
Dear Lover: This yellow scarf technique could also be a red herring, if you know what I mean.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
