Wife's assignment gives husband writer's block
The woman behind me in line was chatting with me, basically flirting with me.
During the course of this flirtation, she kept touching me.
Personally, I don't care. Sure, maybe I was even flattered.
BUT, if I touched HER the way she was touching me, we'd be in trouble.
What do you think about this double standard?
-- Wondering Guy
Dear Wondering: You don't mention how (or where) this woman was touching you, but yes -- many people (women and men) do not want to be touched by strangers. Others don't seem to mind it.
If men and women were on a level field, this would qualify as a double standard. But women who don't want to be touched by strangers sometimes feel intimidated by the size differential (with men). Women are also affected by social conventions regarding expressing their preferences and having their preferences respected. Unfortunately, saying "no" sometimes seems to invite an escalation, rather than a respectful retreat.
The important thing is to learn to read basic social cues and body language, and to actually listen to people when they indicate that they don't like something you are doing that personally affects them.
Dear Amy: I was very upset by your flawed advice to "Young Widow in NY," who said she had been stuck with an exorbitant funeral bill.
Did she even sign a contract? You should have suggested that she see a lawyer!
-- Upset
Dear Upset: Hundreds of people contacted me with similar feedback.
Because "Young Widow" reported that she was responsible for this large bill, I assumed that she had signed a contract. I should not have made this assumption and -- yes -- before taking responsibility for this debt, she should definitely seek legal advice.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
