In-laws are too self-focused to notice pregnancy
Practice this -- on paper, in the mirror, and with other friends -- until you are more comfortable delivering your "no."
Dear Amy: Parents describing themselves as "Put Upon" wrote to you about their daughter and son-in-law's financial dependence on them, as well as the son-in-law's passivity in terms of simply being helpful at family gatherings.
They reminded me of myself -- only I identified with the son-in-law.
Is it possible that the son-in-law has been so overwhelmed by his wife's financially-controlling parents that he is practicing passive-aggressive behavior?
For me, it began when our car had to be replaced. I had a used Volkswagen in mind because I could afford it and would be able to maintain it. No, that wasn't good enough for my in-laws.
I wasn't financially capable of being the husband they wanted for their daughter and later, not financially capable of being the father they wanted for their grandchildren.
When I finally and passionately laid all this out for them, they said they "only did what they thought best."
Maybe these parents should back off a few notches.
-- Been There
Dear Been There: Very wise advice.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
