Co-worker ponders being terrible about race
What's realistic for what people can do from afar? How can we help people on the edge of homelessness and/or a mental health crisis?
Although it's not fair, I find myself somewhat resentful that people put everything out there.
-- Empathetic from Afar
Dear Afar: Social media has made the sharing of personal information easy, and people use it to varying degrees to reach out. Please don't blame your old friend for sending out an SOS. Merely sharing his vulnerability in this way might be helpful to him.
What you don't need to do is to weigh in with specific solutions. It was kind of you to send him money, but you -- and your friends -- cannot save him through your kind recommendations. You can, however, continue to let him know that you care about him and that you are thinking about him. Sometimes it is necessary to establish a boundary: "I'm sorry I can't help you more, but I hope you always know that I care about you."
Even kinder than merely responding to one of his posts would be for you to spontaneously reach out to him: "How are you doing? I've been thinking about you." Share a relatable memory you two share. Let him know that he is not alone.
Dear Amy: I laughed so hard at the question from "Reluctant Art Collector," concerning an artist who had a hard time finishing a painting of Reluctant's (nude) wife.
As an artist, I paint pets and many abstracts.
Those who like them want one, "Just like THAT one."
I could just duplicate the same little white dog for everyone and call it good.
The artist was probably bored to death with the subject!
-- Painter
Dear Painter: As a creative person, I well understand the pressure of not finishing a project. I agree that boredom with the subject is definitely a factor.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
