Tired child feels forced to care for abusive mom
I find myself alone on all fronts and I'm getting really irritated about being consistently excluded.
It's hard enough being alone in your 50s, but then people who are married treat me as though I don't matter because I am not part of a couple.
I am over the divorce. I'm going back to school. I am working and do not sit around bemoaning my single status.
What I AM upset about is the way married people treat their divorced friends and family.
Note to all: If we want space, we will tell you. We need our friends and family now more than when we were married.
Amy, is this common?
-- Frustrated with Friends
Dear Frustrated: Yes, this dynamic is common, if not universal. People who are widowed -- or who have never partnered-up -- also experience it. I've experienced it, myself.
You could mitigate some of this frustration by initiating contact with your coupled friends and family. Host a barbecue. Invite them on outings.
If you stay single for an appreciable length of time, you will see that your desire to spend time around couples will also shift.
Dear Amy: I was surprised at your reaction to "Stand Tough Mom," whose son got into trouble after a drunken brawl at college. Usually you are such a cream puff, but this time you advised tough love. What gives?
-- Wondering
Dear Wondering: Yes, I admit to being a "cream puff" concerning younger children. My own reaction to infractions toughens proportionally, along with the age of the child.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
