Tired child feels forced to care for abusive mom
Dear Responsible: Because you seem to have absorbed the message that children are obligated to take care of their parents, let's examine the other half of that obligation: that of parents toward their children.
Your mother did not protect or nurture you. She abused you, and now she wants to use you.
If she had been a different sort of parent, her children would be rallying around her now, and you wouldn't be so tortured about your relationship.
You should be a different sort of parent to your child. Break the cycle.
Your mother is choosing not to deal with her alcoholism. She has the right to live her life. She does not have the right to force you to support her choices.
I highly recommend the book, "The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation," by addiction specialist Melody Beattie (2009, Simon & Schuster). You will recognize yourself in its pages.
Also, your mother won't seek help for her addiction, but you should. I urge you to attend Al-anon -- or another "friends and family" addiction support group.
Dear Amy: I am recently divorced. My daughter is leaving for college.
What I find most difficult about all of this is the way married friends and even married siblings no longer try to socialize with me.
It's as if because I'm not part of a couple, I no longer exist. I am incredulous that in 2019, this is still happening.
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