Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Would-be mother suffers through baby news

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: All my life, I have wanted to be a mother -- more than anything else. Two years ago, I learned that the only way would be through IVF. I was devastated, but still hopeful.

My sister-in-law confided in me that she and her husband were struggling to become pregnant. I, in turn, opened up to her about my own infertility.

Last year on Father's Day I was invited to a gathering at their home.

They surprised everyone with the news that they were expecting.

I felt like I had been gut-punched, but managed a smile and congratulations, and left very quickly after the announcement.

I was inconsolable at home. I felt completely shattered.


I didn't understand my feelings. Why was I so tormented by someone's good news? I felt angry at them for not allowing me to deal with it in private.

I expect they shared my misfortunes with everyone else, and that made things even worse.

Fast-forward to today. It has been a year. Their child was born, and I have had two failed embryo transfers through IVF. I have not seen or spoken to them.

I am still hurting and angry. I don't know what to do to make the pain and animosity stop. Help.


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