Life Advice



Would-be mother suffers through baby news

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Bitter

Dear Bitter: I agree that it was extremely insensitive of your sister-in-law not to recognize your situation and at least give you a heads-up about their announcement. She doesn't seem supportive, now. Your reaction is visceral and understandable.

However, one unfortunate consequence is that you, who want a baby so badly, are not able to enjoy contact with ... a baby.

You should be brave and explain yourself. Tell (or email) your sister-in-law -- "I'm sorry I've stayed away, but your pregnancy and birth have reminded me of my own struggle. It's been very hard for me, and I'm sorry, but this is the best I seem to be able to do."

Your IVF clinic will have information about support groups. This roller-coaster ride will be easier for you if you are able to share your story with other parents who are also going through it.

The National Infertility Association also offers online support, information, and a list of support groups through their helpful website:


I must also point out that giving birth is NOT the only way to become a mother. I urge you to consider adoption as a way to make your family complete.

Dear Amy: I want to help my younger sister, but I don't know how.

Her latest disease is breast cancer. She has had surgery, but refuses to continue with needed chemotherapy and radiation.

She also has Parkinson's disease, which she takes medicine for four times a day.


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