Couple fights over gaslighting
Dear Uncle: I hope you are receiving competent legal and financial advice. This is vital when doing estate planning.
Regarding the relationship, you should do whatever is in your sister's best interest.
For instance, if notifying your niece that you have disinherited her would remove an even remote incentive for her to behave decently, then definitely don't tell her about your plans. She hasn't earned the right to know your financial plans, and the thought that she might benefit from a relationship with you down the road might give you some authority and even minimal control, now.
Dear Amy: "Formerly Terrible" was a high school bully, but says he has changed.
I liked it that he fully admitted his behavior and that he wants to apologize and make amends to the people he hurt many years ago.
Your response and suggestions were good, but you left out an important step: He must also forgive himself.
-- Also Formerly Terrible
Dear Also Terrible: Many people voiced support for this man's efforts and also pointed out that he should continue to work on forgiveness.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
